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[soft_shelled]

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@Bootyyyshaker9000

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Character Name

Donatello

Civilian Name

Shiki Hamato

Team

REDEMPTION

Housing

003002

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Comments

[makesascene]

So, you care about me too. I knew it.

[soft_shelled]

no, just everything hurts rn.

[makesascene]

[If Donnie hadn't been a jerk, Leo would be so much nicer about this.]

whatever.

And yeah, no shit, sherlock. you got drunk last night and maybe drank one cup of water.

[soft_shelled]

i dont need a lecture.

[he is well aware he fucked up, but he is also not in a state to be nice about it either? he honestly just wants to be left to suffer alone.]

[makesascene]

Do you actually want help or are you just gonna wallow?

[soft_shelled]

what do you think.

[makesascene]

Normally, I'd just show up and check on you. Right now, maybe you should wallow.

You're acting like I wanted to hurt you.

[soft_shelled]

i know you didnt, with the arm.

[Sorry but the sacrifice is still something he has many issues with, even though it felt good to say all that he did to Leo last night.

Mostly the issue is he can't wrap his head around *why* Leo did it, like was it to repent for losing the key in the first place? Did he do it because Donnie wasn't good enough and Leo was left facing the Krang alone? Too many reasons, and he hates all of them.]

[makesascene]

Okay.

Remember Jupiter Jim and the Gilded Life Tree? How if that tree died, all life would be gone with it? Remember how Jupiter Jim's love interest sacrificed herself to ensure the galaxy would go on?

I had to make that kind of choice. If the krang won, there would be no earth. No home. No us. No April, No Pops, No one. Nothing. Just Krang. Forever. It's a shitty choice, but it felt like all I had, Donnie. What was I supposed to do? Just go 'Oh well, we'll think of a better plan?' We had been fighting all day, we were all on our last legs. There was no easy solution. I didn't like making it.

[soft_shelled]

[Of course Leo's making a Jupiter Jim comparison, and all the words feels like nails and he just doesn't want to discuss it.]

We could have found a different way, you didn't have to... you shouldn't have been alone.

[makesascene]

[It is the best way he thinks he can make Donnie understand, since his other option was soundly rejected, and vomited upon.]

What time did we realistically have? Minutes? I didn't even like that choice, but I knew it would work.

Its not your fault, my fault or any of our faults it happened. This was a bad situation that just kept getting worse.

[soft_shelled]

can we stop talking about this i hate this

[makesascene]

You're the one who lobbed this grenade, you have to deal with it! If you get to be mad at me for my choice, you need to actually talk to me about it.

[soft_shelled]

[His head hurt, his mouth feels like he ate cotton and he knows he can't handle this in a way that'll end well for either of them. But here he goes.]

fine, you want me to talk? fine.

do you even know what it felt like, to watch you just disappear? to feel like part of me died?

[makesascene]

I can guess, Donnie! Not perfectly, but, I've been that afraid of losing all of you before. I was so scared of messing up as leader, It's why I refused it for so long. If it was my fault you died, I couldn't live with myself. So, I can- at least kind of guess!

I'm sorry, genuinely, about that, okay? I hate that it had to be like this. I never wanted it.

[soft_shelled]

Can you? And it's not like none of us didn't notice you trying to avoid taking charge, I mean not with how often you and Raph went at each other over it! And then you went overboard when Raph got taken, just... A middle ground would have been nice?!

[Now he's venting other feelings about the invasion, not just Leo sacrificing himself.]

And it didn't seem like it at the time it happened that you didn't want it, Leo.

[makesascene]

I know now how dumb it all was, okay? I didn't know what a middle ground should even look like! I miss when we all just hung out and there wasn't some big crisis we had to figure out!

It was a choice I had to make. Either let that gross krang guy wear us down until we all couldn't fight any longer or trap him.

[soft_shelled]

... good.

[Just, seeing Leo admit he knew it was dumb is enough for Donnie. And he can't really speak about the whole missing how things were, so just not touching it for now.]

There had to be a way to trap him without putting yourself in danger!

[makesascene]

Ah, yeah, so many plan options. When you guys were nowhere near me or him. He had overpowered all of us and I knew I could teleport him into the prison dimension.

You know, I had a plan to get out, but the stupid krang threw my katana out after I teleported him into the prison dimension! I had literally 0 options beyond let him escape and never have that chance again!

[soft_shelled]

You had a plan, but made no indication to any of us that was the original plan.

[makesascene]

Ah, yes, let me verbalize my plan aloud while the guy I'm trying to trap is standing on top of me.

I had no time.

[soft_shelled]

Indication doesn't mean tell us, just a sign that was what you planned. But no, it was "Casey close it once we're in"!

[makesascene]

Ok, be real with me.

Would you have accepted that at face value? Do you think the krang would've let me get far if I implied I was taking him back to his prison dimension?

[soft_shelled]

[Stop being reasonable and sensible when Donnie has a hangover!!!]

...

just stop.

[It's not mad, it's just. Two tired words.]

[makesascene]

[The urge to argue is still there. Oh boy, does he want to argue.

He ends up just sighing, wishing he had an actual phone to dramatically throw across the room. Instead of this dumb brain computer.]

Fine.

Conversation over. You don't get a chance to pick at me again about it, though.