soft_shelled | Ryslig Inbox

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[The fact that there are different suits for different situations doesn't seem odd to Donnie, he kind of gets it. Kind of like how he has different battle shells, if he makes the comparison.

But the implications of the last part of what Bucky says is just...] Eugh.

[Honestly what do you say about that?]

[Bucky grimaced, continuing his work with the cooking, keeping his eyes averted.]

There's...I hadn't been growing out my hair when I got here either. It's a tactical nightmare, really, you shouldn't be sending your assassin out with long hair that's going to be constantly in the way, but...

[He was really, really, really avoiding eye contact.]

Again. It was a preference I was set to.

A... preference you were set to-? [Leo echoes uncertainly back, just awkwardly folding his arms over his chest. He balls up the wrapper of his own snack, trying to do something with his hands to feel better.]

You... really didn't get any options, did you?

Like a machine... [It's the only comparison Donnie can make that fits this situation, as he fidgets with his empty chip bag.

That and Leo's asking the good questions before he can.]

[Bucky nodded a little.] I was just a weapon. ...not even a weapon. Just...a tool for them to...use.

[He took a deep breath before finally looking back to them.] None of that matter anymore in a sense that...it's not happening anymore. It's not something I worry about anymore. But...it's kind of...always going to be there, too. So there might be weird...things. Sometimes.

[Leo isn't completely sure what to say. This is definitely some heavy information to be dropped on them. They need to know about it.]

Like, they're the reason Soldier is around-? Right?

[Leo isn't alone in not having much to say on the subject. Because yeah this is most assuredly not something they've ever had to deal with.

And again his twin is asking all the good questions, so Donnie is just quiet as he listens to what more Bucky may have to say.]

I guess so. I don't know if that was entirely on purpose or just the results of them spending decades electrocuting my brain to try and get every aspect of humanity out.

[Bucky let out a faint chuckle, mirthless as it was.] I imagine that explains the fact that my memory isn't uh, super great?

Wait, wait, wait, electrocuting your brain? Did they not realize that was bad? [He feels like this is not great for a brain. He looks at Donnie for back up here. How is he supposed to react to this?] Forget humanity, that would've made you a pile of burnt meat!

[When Leo looks at him, he can't help but say something.] Electroshock therapy was used ages ago to "help" with mental health, I assume what was done to Bucky worked on the same theories?

[Why does he know that, he'll never tell. But he is also pretty put off by what Bucky said.]

They had also modified me...mutated me, I guess you guys would say, into a supersoldier. Enhanced healing, strength, agility, all of that. I was kind of...their only real success with creating weapons like me. The other ones died or...um. Went irrevocably, murderously insane. So I was the only egg left in the basket, so to speak.

[Another breath blown out.] So when you only have the one...tool, you don't want to let it get away from you. So after missions, they put me in cryostasis for years at a time, took me out, shocked me into submission, and then...

[That's when there's a real stutter, and maybe even Bucky looked a bit...paler. Shifting to put the knife down and stepping away from it as though suddenly not sure he even wanted to be close to a weapon.]

[Leo is quiet as Bucky talks, just trying to take everything in. The additional info from Donnie helps and also... doesn't.

This is all bad. So, so, so, bad.] Oh...Bucky.

[He doesn't hesitate to step up and wrap his arms around Bucky. He presses his face against the man's back. The two have known each other long enough Leo isn't shy about just hugging Bucky.]

[Donnie has nothing to say to what additional information Bucky gives them. And he's hesitant to do anything to comfort the gargoyle, that and Leo seems to have it covered.

So just going to stand a bit awkwardly to the side.]

[Bucky was still getting used to the hugging, but he didn't turn it away, either, shifting his wings a bit to keep from accidentally hitting Leo or anything.]

...this shouldn't ever be a danger to us here. Only one person knows the codes here, and I gave them to him because I trust him to use them against me if something else ever happens that I'm a danger. But...HYDRA programmed something into my subconscious. It's a trigger that can be set off by anyone who knows...a set of words to be able to cause me to become just...a fully emotionally empty weapon. I'll do anything the person who programmed me tells me to do, no matter what it is. If...if someone said those words...and told me to kill you both...my body wouldn't even hesitate. And there'd be nothing I could do to stop it.

[Bucky is getting a squeeze, there is no choice in the matter here.]

We really need to find a way to get rid of that code stuff. I'm pretty against people ordering you to kill anyone much less us.

Mmhmm, that just sounds like a nasty thing to have left hanging around.

[Donnie says with a nod, as he starts to think about it and well... He has ideas, but not voicing them just yet.]

If you have thoughts on it, I'm all ears. I don't know anything about how they managed to do it or if there even is a way to get it out. But...there's only one person in this city who knows the words, and I told them to him because I trust him to use them to stop me if...

...

Well, just "if".

[He glanced over to them.] But...I do have to hear them. So if someone's got me down and starts saying stuff in Russian, go for my ears.

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cw: even MORE creepy allusions, HYDRA sucks in general

cw: Hydra crap all the way down

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cw: seriously just so much gross HYDRA allusion

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I thought i replied to this, aaaaaaaaa

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