soft_shelled | Ryslig Inbox

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Ryslig Inbox

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, DONATELLO. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 016.04.154.55 * Bootyyyshaker9000 has joined 016.04.154.55 <Bootyyyshaker9000> God this tech is old. <Bootyyyshaker9000>** ANYWAY, you're conversing with Donatello. Leave a message.

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I have listened to her!

If I wasn't then I wouldn't be here, I'd be talking to her instead of you!

[Donnie is not getting any calmer, as he grips the counter between him and Sherlock. Claws digging into it.]

And I am not hurting myself by being with her!

I said you are both getting hurt.

[He's not opening with a full psychological analysis, to which Donatello can simply say, "nope!" Sherlock is trying for outcomes, first.

But he notes that the idea of Donatello hurting himself is already on his mind.]

You are both hurting now.

As a friend to you and to Rachel, I want to help you understand why, and how to prevent it. But I can't force you.

How? I...

[He looks down at his hands, gripping the counter top so tightly.]

I just want her to be happy.

[Sherlock's tone, his expression, turns gentler.]

Seeing someone we care for in pain hurts us terribly in turn. Does it not?

Whether it is love or not, she clearly cares for you. Therefore, to take care of her, you must also take care of yourself.

[Donnie's attention is still on his hands, as he just tries to go over every interaction he's had with Ray. And trying to figure out where he could have hurt her...

Sure, the time where she made a fuss about him saying he'd sacrifice himself to save her comes to mind but...]

But... Isn't that how relationships are supposed to be? Making sure that you do everything to make sure the other person is happy, no matter what?

Edited 2023-09-29 01:53 (UTC)

Mm-mn.

[Sherlock shuts his eyes a moment as he shakes his head. Hell no. He certainly isn't like that, even if he has done the laundry once or twice.]

If both parties light themselves on fire to keep the other warm, very soon all that will be left is ash. A relationship should be more like --

[Good lord, he just figured out how he wanted to say this when Bucky was ill. It sure is lucky he put this together just in time to tell Donatello. Sherlock is no expert on this, but he knows that what he wants from Bucky, the winning strategy as he sees it, is...]

...being on the same team.

You share a common goal: both of you, together and happy, for as long as it can possibly last. And you must work together to make that happen -- not decide you know what is best and go off on your own. Otherwise...you remember what happened when you and Leo tried to protect Bucky, but Bucky was trying to protect you, and in the end, all that happened was that you all got hurt?

[Donnie is about to say how it worked like that back home, with his brothers... Mostly, but then Sherlock mentions the Bucky thing and just.

Donnie's words come out fast and harsh, as he levels a glare at the older manticore. One blue and one golden eye flashing with a bit of anger at what was just said.]

Leo and Bucky got hurt, I was fine.

[Sherlock chooses not to argue that point, though he has his doubts.]

But the outcome was less than ideal. Not what anybody wanted.

[Rachel turned herself in, and was executed. The family split apart for a time.]

If a situation like that can be avoided, it should, shouldn't it?

Maybe.

[That's all he has to say about that, as some of that is something he doesn't want to dwell on.]

And well it's too late to avoid it now, she probably wants nothing to do with me.

You are assuming instead of listening, again.

She does want to see you. Whatever you might be imagining, whatever catastrophe is playing out in your mind, the reality is that Rachel isn't happy about being apart. We discussed -- briefly -- the idea of someone else being present, when she visits. To prevent you from hurting each other, while allowing you to spend time together.

[Pointedly:]

She is looking for solutions, Donatello.

But I want to ask you something, because the way you feel about it matters, too. If she were here, and you were alone...

...would you be nervous, around her?

I am not, I said probably! That leaves room for interpretation.

[He snaps back, and boy howdy. His expression at Sherlock mentioning the chaperone thing, is not a nice one at all. But it's gone when Sherlock asks if he'd be nervous around her.]

No, why would I be? [Said a bit too quickly, really.]

[He hears how quickly that came out.]

I don't like lies, Donatello.

[It's not hostile, but it's no-nonsense.]

I'm not lying, I'm horrible at it.

[Just as a manticore he is more prone to doing it.]

You are horrible at it. Which is how I can tell you're lying.

It's all right. Dying is a frightening thing. There are monsters whose company I studiously avoid, because they killed me and did nothing to restore my confidence in them. Even when both parties make an attempt to heal in good faith, the effects can -- linger.

For longer than you'd like then to.

Except I'm not lying nor am I traumatized.

[Good old Donnie denial, as he's resumed his death grip on the counter.]

And she didn't kill me, I let it happen.

Mm. [He shakes his head.] Your fur, the movement of your ears, even the dilation of your pupils says different. Did you know they expand when one is anxious? It is a nearly impossible reflex to control, harder even than the heartbeat.

Please dispense with the transparent denial. It will get us nowhere.

Now, [he goes on, intending to continue as though Donatello had outright admitted his fear.] Why did you allow her to kill you, despite the fear you were experiencing at the time?

[Oh there is a multitude of ways Donnie could respond to that, and sadly his instinctual one won't work because he doesn't know Sherlock well enough to make the proper emotional jabs, as his ears flatten against his head and he lets go of the counter and...

Picks up his drink and moves to leave the kitchen.]

We're done. Like I said earlier Bucky's probably in his room, you should go see him.

[Mm. Too far, he sees: it's both true and it makes the conversation end. Good to keep in mind for the future.

As Donatello passes him:]

Is it because you don't know, or because you don't want to admit it to me?

[A beat, as he picks his words, since they'll probably be the last ones he gets in.]

You cannot continue to protect your loved ones if you, too, are dead.

Edited 2023-10-02 16:43 (UTC)

[... Sherlock will totally hear the sound of claws on glass, as Donnie death grips his glass. It's a miracle it doesn't shatter, really.]

[Sharply exhales before he answers Sherlock at all, avoiding the question and only addressing the last thing.]

Maybe they're better off without me anyway.

[...ah.

The wall Donatello threw up gives, unexpectedly. Just an inch, but sometimes an inch is all you need.

With curiosity, rather than hostility:]

What is it, that makes you wonder about that?

Because I'm well aware of where I stand, skill wise, with everyone.

[He's useless without his tech, and more so here even with the advantages he has with being a monster.]

....do you consider yourself less skilled than the monsters around you?

[This comes as a surprise to Sherlock, but there's no disbelief in his voice. Go on. Tell him about it.]

Without my tech?

[Because Sherlock has no idea what Donnie can do with his tech, if he had access to it he would own this damned place.

At least he thinks he would.]

I'm the least skilled out of my brothers, so what I could do back home doesn't exactly carry over here, so yes. Yes I do consider that.

[He has no idea Donnie is planning world domination.]

....it is hard, to feel like one has fallen behind one's peers. To have your usual advantage taken away, and to know that others around you are outpacing you.

My brother had a greater faculty for deduction and inference than I did. He always has. He simply did not choose to use it in the same way I did. If he had, I'd be no match for him. He'd be the greatest detective the world has ever known, and I'd just be his...not-as-good brother.

But does that mean I should quit my work? Or, worse, that I shouldn't exist at all?

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cw murder, trauma discussion

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cw some victim blame-y language

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